October 2019
Turning no's into yes(s)es"
By: Michela Minnis
As I scroll through my email and anticipate responses from programs, internships, jobs, and other opportunities I have applied to I can’t help but to feel worry. Worry in the sense that my mind feels that it is being taken over by doubt, frustration, and a lack of confidence.
“Thank you so much for your interest in…versus… Congratulations!” bring about opposite emotions.
I have a fear of rejection. The fear is not that simple in that my fear lies in putting myself out there for the world to see and get to know because I do not feel that I have enough expertise in how to solve all of the world’s problems. Even when applying for jobs or internships, I feel hesitant when writing my background essays or cover letters because I am unfamiliar with who will be reviewing my own personal experiences. I do not know the outcome, but I am still willing to share personal details about my life, my passions, and my thoughts. It’s scary, but I still continue to shoot my shot. It takes a lot of trust in myself and in my abilities to feel that I am qualified to not only be a student at U-M (even as a second year student), but to also go out into the world and learn how to make a difference.
It is difficult going to a university like U-M because of the competitive atmosphere. I knew this atmosphere was going to be a part of the culture, but I did not think it would weigh this heavily on my spirit. Imposter syndrome kicks in at the wrong time, so I try to remind myself of how much I have to offer to society through my passion for social justice. However, I am still working on remembering that I have so much more to learn about myself, my passions, and how I can contribute to society, but it is hard when thinking about the limitations I face (not being qualified for a position, lacking experience needed for a job, or not having the GPA needed to even be considered for an internship or summer program).
Having a fear of rejection is not easy to solve, and it is easy to let the feeling to control your mind. I’m working on affirming myself and my capabilities. Because I am not perfect, and rejection happens. There is no easy way to deal with it, but I want to commit to not allowing my spirit to be affected by that one, or many nos. Seeing a “no” as future “yesses” can be a great way to deal with a fear of rejection; thinking about what is to come is exciting, and makes those rejections ways of motivation. I am motivated to be upset about those nos for 24 hours at least and feels my emotions, but then I want to move on. Moving on allows me to feel what I feel, but to protect my spirit because something better will come along, and I will be thankful for that “no”.