DESTINY COPELAND:
Single Shooters: Just Keep Shooting

With Valentine’s day approaching some friends and I started talking about love, relationships, and our plans for the day, or lack thereof. I explained how I was ready to be in a more committed relationship. Casual dating was getting boring. I like the guys  but not enough to spend an exceptional amount of time with them, nor did I feel a sense of comfortability or a closeness to open up and build a bond. And people were like, “Okay, go find someone,” as if it’s that easy. I am guilty of saying to my single friends craving romance and intimacy, “Just put yourself out there.” Here’s the problem: Not only does my next boyfriend need to fit my many standards, but he also needs be ready for something serious.

“It’s really hard when you’re ready for commitment and everyone else just wants to be casual.”

My friend said this at the end of our conversation, and it’s been sitting with me since then. I can’t make a guy change his intentions, right? So, what do I do?  I asked a one of my guy friends how I should maneuver my issue. He said, “Just keep shooting.” So simple, but easier said than done. Rejection is too large of a fear for most people. But he thinks the more shots I shoot, the more likely I am to score. I may take his advice, however, I tend to shoot my shots very selectively. I cannot be left looking silly. I took my methods to Tinder—dating app that is mainly used for casual hook ups, though I have heard of people finding luck on there. The more times that I messaged a guy first, the more responses I got, whether they were good, creepy, or I got ghosted. I at least slightly knew where I stood.  So I say if you want a Valentine’s Date or a new bae, take a chance! The more shots you take, the more shots you make.