November 2019
Giving Thanks
By: Monique Wheeler
Growing up, Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays. All 18 of my immediate family members would drive miles and miles to meet in our grandparents’ basement to laugh, sing, and celebrate how blessed we felt to be able to be together. We go all out for most of the major holidays, but Thanksgiving takes the cake with our array of specially reserved Thanksgiving desserts (my Auntie Denise’s peanut butter balls and my Auntie Jan’s white chocolate oreo truffles are literally the highlight of everyone’s year).
It makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside whenever I get to be with them. I love seeing everyone working together in the kitchen, and making new memories while we remember old ones. Going home is a tiny escape from all of the stress and uncertainty of going to school. I don’t have to think about exams or writing papers. I just can focus on the love that surrounds me and being present in the moments I am in. Although this is never any of the college kids first time coming back to my grandparents’ house since the fall semester, it's our first real time to reflect on our journey and talk about our struggles while away at school.
But while I was at school this year, I learned Thanksgiving really just celebrates the mass genocide of America’s Indegenous people, and now I don’t know how I should feel. Should I feel bad for enjoying Thanksgiving? Should my family scrap it overall? What does this mean for my family tradition? I wanted to make sure to pay respects to those who lost their lives due to racism and white supremacy, but I felt like abandoning the tradition kills apart of myself too. But not wanting to give it up felt selfish to me, and almost as if my privilege made me feel entitled to something (like the colonizers who first came to America).I thought about it long and hard until it finally came to me. Giving thanks is not always about directly giving and receiving from those around you, but also sharing gratitude for those who came before you and provided you with spaces to learn and grow. Honoring those who lost their lives unjustly during our celebration of life and recognizing how precious it really is that we get to have a space to love each other feels like a perfect way to bring in our time to give thanks.