January 2020
Yes, Self Discipline, and Love
By: Faith Crosby
2020: The year we expected cars to fly, the discovery of new and habitable planets, or even the doom of the earth. By 2020 we expected so much from the world around us, but what did we expect from ourselves? I didn’t come into 2020 with a list of resolutions, primarily because I was solely focused on finishing out the decade strong. Instead, I decided to use the beginning of the new decade as a way to get a feel for my hopes and dreams of the year. After wading seven days into January, the feeling I was looking for came flooding in. This would be the year of “yes,” self-discipline, and love.
“Yes:” my magic word of the year. At the end of 2019, I had a long list of applications to be submitted in the new year; that list included a transfer application to the School of Education, as well as a study abroad application. I decided to speak everything I wanted into existence, manifesting that I would receive a “yes” from every recipient of my applications. Not only do I want a stamp of approval from others, I also want to start saying “yes” to myself more often this year. This doesn’t mean that I will say “yes” to every unreasonable and impulsive desire, but that I will grant myself more opportunities to enjoy life as moments present themselves.
Self-discipline: one of my greatest challenges. One would think that with a year and a half of college under their belt, that self-discipline would be an imperative understanding. But for me, I still struggle with bringing myself to study, to sleep, to exercise, to eat right, and to manage all of the many responsibilities. In a sense, self-discipline is the check and balance to my year full of “yes.” I need to learn to say “no” to distractions, stressors, laziness, and anything that may come in the way of my overall success. As daunting as “no” may sound, there are times when I need this word in order to realign my priorities.
Love: both interpersonal and personal. For the past few years, I have refrained from developing a deep attachment to anyone. I have kept people at a distance because I vowed to develop a love for myself before I allowed anyone else to love me. Now, I believe that I have kept full to my vow and sparked a deep love of every aspect of myself. This year, I finally feel it is time for me to appreciate the love and affection of others, while always appreciating my own self-love. The infamous “L” word doesn’t mean that I’m looking for the commitment of a lifetime, but instead that I am opening myself to new experiences with new people.